– Cynthia John

Children don’t always express their disappointment and pain. They often get insulted, compared, humiliated and hurt when they fail to meet their own and others expectations of them.

Here are two tested ways to build your child’s self-esteem. When you praise, tell your child exactly what she has done well instead of being general. Say, “Your choice of colours is creative and eye-catching,” rather than, “That’s good”. A specific compliment conveys greater sincerity and depth. It tells children how to keep up good work.

Conversely when children fail to meet expectations, appreciate the effort invested, and highlight positives associated with the effort. For example, children who have lost an inter-school cricket match won’t feel so bad if they were told that at net practice they play much better and exhibit greater potential.

Appreciating good effort in a sport will take the focus away from losing, and help children feel good that they played the game.