I’m tired of listening to my 11-year old daughter’s complaints. She is forever comparing the extravagance of her classmates and what they buy with large sums of money. We don’t believe in celebrating birthdays at fancy restaurants or buying expensive gadgets to keep up with the Joneses. I don’t know how to keep her happy.

Your daughter is likely to face this problem of keeping up with the Joneses all her life. So what you help her to learn now will be of enduring value, even if she doesn’t instantly accept your point of view.

For example, if she wants a new gadget, help her understand that expensive purchases should not be impulse buys. Teach her to differentiate between various brands and features so that she can make intelligent purchase decisions. Then teach her to choose the brand most suited to the family budget. If she believes she needs a gadget, offer to buy it for her birthday, or after she has saved enough pocket money to contribute towards the purchase. When she realises that a purchase decision is complex, she may lose interest in it, if it is just a passing fad. If she still wants it, you could jointly make the decision.

For example, if you buy an expensive gadget, you could tell her she can’t spend more than Rs. X on clothes or toys for the next six months. Give her a budget for the year or the next quarter and induct her into money management.

Tips to build values
Quit thinking of childhood as it was when you were a child. Do all you can to understand the new culture within which your child is immersed. While every problem is a challenge, transform it into an opportunity to inculcate good values into your children. Encourage creative thinking and debate issues with an open mind. Today’s children simply won’t accept ‘because I say so’ reasoning.

When you talk about values, illustrate your point with real life examples. Even if they don’t accept your opinion instantly, children keep their parents’ words in mind for a long time.

Also read: Teaching children money management